The Promise . Emma Blackery . appreciation

The first song that introduced me to the wonderful Emma Blackery was an awesome song she collaborated with Dave (Boyinaband from youtube). The name of the song, "The Promise".

Her voice was really my type, the type you just feel like you'd go and jam with in a mellow rock like way (mellow rock, really?). But what caught me was the songs. As everyone who likes Boyinaband knows he is known for making songs that hits you in the "kokoro" just like that (gotta make that post about him soon), or just plain funky rap songs about satirical things. He also produces tons of awesome songs that I completely question why he hasn't hit big yet.

Enough about Dave, more about Emma, I say!

I have not immersed myself to Emma's channel yet, since I have yet to immerse myself to Vloggers instead of Music makers and Let's Play youtubers. Although some of the Let's Play and Music Maker youtubers I do follow has Vlogs of their own. I only pick the Vlogs that has a full on "just listen to it" feel, instead of the ones where you need to follow what they do on the video.

Emma Blackery, as I noticed, has majority of Vlogs and mostly the only videos I have immersed of hers is the official video for "The Promise" and most of her music, that I must say is really funky and cute.

More about the song.

The song, as my ears perceive it, tells the story of how no one should feel left alone. That you should hold on, reminding you that you aren't alone. Because as the song says, they promise they will be there for you. No more cutting. No more aching. They will listen.

This is something of a real thing. People all around us are internally dipped in depressing and rotting conflicts. Some can get their ass out of those tar holes inside of us, while the others struggle harder. Maybe they are weak in the mind, heart or soul, or they didn't get to have that good social support from the people they expect to get it from. No matter, because in the end something will always eat them, and they will struggle.

Being a person who has once experienced, or still do in tiny bouts, is luckily one of the few who has someone or a "group of" to help me with my times of struggle. They were there long enough for one day make me able to stand on my own two fat unstable logs for legs. Finally waiting for my time to help others in a way that fits their need.

I honestly say I am still not able to do so. There is no way for me to help someone who is clinically depressed, just the ones who needs an ear kind of "depressed" which might probably just be loneliness. Or the ones who needs to be picked up from their fall, and do my best to push them slowly back up into the sky.

Enough dabbling.

This song, matching it with a heart breaking video is one insta-kokoro-kill!

The song is one of the most heart warmingli-mazing ones I've listened so far, and I just couldn't help but want to shout it out to the world. Since I cannot sing, therefore I will shout it out. Even if no one will hear me or even notice me. I promise I will still "sing" it.

Because everyone should be reminded of such a good story.

Emma Blackery >> join her

concept of being out of place

Recently my friends are getting into this certain famous movie in our local cinemas. I'm saddened that I may be intrigued or even enticed to watch the movie somehow my habit in not immersing myself into something currently trending comes up.

Trending or not, I'm not saying I have anything against the movie, because I actually like the fact that the movie is historical. Although it's topic is not something I want to immerse into, I like the concept and enjoyment of seeing a kind of modern render of historical stories, however accurate it is or not. Still it saddens me that I envy them for watching the movie, but I hold myself back from immersing in the hype.

I. Am. Basically. Torturing. Myself.

The concept of being a masochist is well absurd. Yet, I am only tortured emotionally. By being envious of my friends sharing something in common while I won't be able to follow albeit knowing a little of what they are talking about, I basically indulge my envious self. Accepting being envious of them and repressing or subjecting myself to the temptation of watching the movie, in the end I will not really still fit in with the group discussion of the movie.

Mental arguments eats me sometimes that I fear lashing out onto people. A fear that once I share this kind of thinking or argument or discussion, even with my boyfriend, would just drive them away. Although I'm guessing one of these days I will be discussing it with my boyfriend since I am often times an open book about my self and my thoughts. Even if it sounds gruesomely neutral and vague in opinion.

Confusedly good and bad, all at the same time.

Discussing things at the heat of the moment and event, I am not good with. Needing the time to eat and think of things, arguing about the pros and cons is what I am able to stay strong mentally. How I end up with definite conclusion. To me, inquiring to people about opinions about a situation is something more confusing, unless I'm doing a research about their opinion and won't even matter to me personally.

Allowing myself to discuss it and reading things about it that contradicts each article opinion is a good way to develop a neutral mind.

This is something out of place.

movie list: The Scorch Trials (Maze Runner 2, 2015)

The fad for making movies from books has always been in our culture, humanity in general, since around the first time someone discovered or tried to make a film from a book. So standards aren't much for my taste, yet finally, the first time I had an honest to something opinion of a movie flow or kind of criticism shows up in the second film of the series Maze Runner.

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I've watched the first movie, simply The Maze Runner, repeatedly in a movie cable channel, I've forgotten which one. Personally I liked it, I mean the ending didn't look like an "obvious" open ended one, until of course that one scene that symbolized that its a series in the end credits.

As usual my mother asked me to watch the movies cause she wants to spend some movie time, plus free movies on that day. Lovely perks of the seniors. There were only two movies in the roster, sadly there was no Heneral Luna which is a movie that is locally trending with my friends and majority of the people I know thats got the same taste of entertainment or probably even better than mine. Either a movie about something relationship related "again" and a movie about kids running around trying to survive, or I assume are kids.

Basically watching and getting to know more about the universe of Maze Runners dystopian future made me realize that the second movie, no its not the times I missed those scenes from the beginning that I missed, that I am pretty much confused with some elements that felt "off".

Without knowing anything about the book, basing only from the movie. I was confused about several characters significance, as if their introduction and purpose was "great" yet their time in the movie or even circumstances felt lacking. True, we cannot expect any kind of detail focus as the books can give, but to the extent that I can feel it is not a good sign.

My personal nit-pick are Aris (Jacob Lofland) and Brenda's (Rosa Salazar) significance in the books, obvious by their sudden involvement and roles in the movie.

Dunno how "updated" this picture of him is, still...
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Aris is the character that is the "outcast" in the facility they were brought to prior from the ending of the first movie. He had little time to develop any kind of relationship or kinship to Thomas, the main. But circumstances and a sudden shift of personality from the book tells that Thomas is such a paranoid and curious cat that he was right to trust the information fairly given by Aris as if it was Aris' instinct to tell them. Assuming, he must've done this to all the new comers expecting some kind of rebellious source of energy when ever he shows them around. By instinct maybe, or what ever, Aris shows them. The movie not clearly showing whatever motivation, well besides being paranoid. Whilst compared to the other kids in the facility.

However, I do understand if not much of the kids in the facility would be willing to trade the comfort for something perilous as suspicion of their food and shelter source. Nevertheless, it was something I found lacking in explanation on why. So basically I'm ending Aris' existence as a spur of the moment.

Further information about Aris, researching about the book of course. Aris seems to be a completely important character as he shared a telepathic connection to both Thomas and Teresa, main lead female (?) from the previous movie although we are basing in the books now. Of course another lacking element in the movie.

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Second character nit-pick, Brenda. I shipped Brenda to Thomas the moment she showed her face. Clearly my fan girl side showed, although I did not squeal. Her role in the movie was quite significant, besides being the only other girl Thomas clearly showed interest to. Checking on her, book version, I was correct to ship her to Thomas even though I'm not quite sure how they end up.

Her character, and the actress, portrayed a strong girl. Not just in opinion but in surviving as well. Something that awfully attracted me to her, plus her round eyes. If I compared movie Teresa with movie Brenda in the current movie, they flowed so differently that it even clearly showed that Teresa was finally shifting sides. Although it might be intentional. Meh.

To me it's a matter of taste. The most shocking part for me in the movie was Minho and how...well you'll have to watch the movie for yourself because the only thing I needed to nit-pick were the characters. The flow of the story is the typical dystopian world with an infectious mankind killing virus. What stands out in this story and movie, besides a hand pick of characters some girls would like to fan over, is probably the attempt to reach out to the fan base.

Which by now might be rolling over their beds from sheer disappointment or pride of how the 2 movies has run.

movie list: Inside Out (animation 2015)

Just so you know watching a movie with a really wide and diverse creativity potential sometimes really ticks me, especially when it's only targeted in one specific market.

That's what me and my friend thought of when we shared opinions about the recently shown movie Inside Out. Damn Pixar giving feels to Feels.

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Inside Out is a movie about emotions in a sense that they are portrayed in a creative cartoon (3D) way. The movie was targeted towards the masses of kids that I'm assuming ranges from 6 to 99 and generally includes the young at heart, mind, soul, maturity, etc. The plot revolves around the main characters pack of emotions as they struggle in a phase of the characters, namely Railey's, life where she struggles to cope with, as my dear friend who keeps on affirming that its, depression or possibly the simplistic first time for a child's life to experience depression (no I don't find the whole thing simplistic, but hey, for kids, fooooor kids).

The movie was engaging and very peppy, and yes the colours are needed for reaction,  I think they did a really intricate study on what to use or do in the levels of the story. Since, well, the whole adult concept of the plot is explaining Psychology for the mind of a kid, or what it can be in a simplified form of educating what their diverse emotions are and what they do (or become, once they become adults). 

Truly, the only thing I was impressed the most is the opportunity to explain that change is needed to grow, even in who or what you are. This movie showed one of the most beautiful representation of how your personality or character grows with time. Like what the significance of each of your thoughts should be and how jumbled your mind can take in once something has been robbed from you.

Personally I reacted more to the viewers and which of the emotions they liked or disliked. I've only had two peoples opinion to base on this but it really shows what kind of character or personality they have on what they felt for each emotions in the movie. Of course, the greater the reaction is the higher it is more likely to guess what they like and dislike towards a human being. I'm not saying its a sure call for the guess, I could probably ask, but it's not my work to study peoples reaction towards any kind of dramatic or intriguing story.

Any who, me and those two friends did an analysis to what we saw from the movie. We listed the top three emotions we were linking ourselves with. Honestly though, it's difficult, because for me each one of the emotions are linked to what I am. Maybe, what ever I do I won't probably know. Since, as I said, currently it's not my job, yet.

The movie is a ride, it didn't strike me too much, till the part I saw about the cats and what the emotions were doing in their head (spoiler, a bit). Now that part of the ending was BEAUTIFUL, it was spot on. Damn.

Guessing. With the way that I placidly watched the struggle of the characters, their growth in adapting to the whole conflict. I've experienced and seen soo much of sadness and depression that I've begun to be "numb" to it. That sometimes I think I understand them, but I really don't and need more information or story, and even have the heart to help. But I've gone through time, and now my age, that I begin to care for other things.

Growing up is painful, but I'm thankful that I experienced majority of the depressing and selfish parts of it earlier. Besides that part about romance. I really did not know I could grow and learn or accept it till now. That maybe another story in its self.

Inevitable . Antisocial? . Onision universe

This may sound weird, but people who give advice and has an official title to give so for specific parts of life in general is respected. You gain a sliver of trust due to that established societal method of acceptance, which I pertain is the title acquired from years of studying and practice.

The issue I see here is the distribution of or who you choose to trust.

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Recently I've been smothering myself with Onision videos, specifically his outspoken opinions about topics he is asked in his website or forums under the YT channel Onisionspeaks. I collectively view all his videos in that channel as his point of view alone and to whoever gives a fuck and for his fans or listeners, they're free to listen to it. Listen, regardless of whether his opinion or conclusion to the topic would match the listeners P.O.V. or not.

Again, since I'm kind of immersing myself with stuff about him, I tried going back to some of his videos disregarding all the questionable and dramatic content. Curiosity is one thing that won't be taken from man I tell you.

I discovered one of his life dramas, namely the one about his ex-girlfriend Shiloh. Who I discovered is a singer before she got involved with Onision, lets just call him Greg. (In context with Shiloh, I like her music. I hope she comes back, as I hear she hasn't done any since 2005/9(?). Kudos to her career)

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That sources' article is funny, but intriguing *shrug*.

I do not like or patronize the action of posting too personal stuff online, since I am generally a private person. But, come on, who doesn't like the drama (and it's the person who's posting the private thing is the one at fault for deciding it generally). Any-many, I saw a lot of mental and emotional stuff enough for me to re-watch it just to confirm that what I heard was what I heard. 

Messy and sad comes into my mind. Greg's choice on how to handle his problem, involving the opinion of several people who is allowed to view his videos made me think every single break up he has gone to is just an act. But who am I to be confirmed of this, personally I'm not going to go deeper, but it was sad.

Moving on to that sad thing is the tons of criticism he received with his "advices". I watched one video, from KSicFlip, about Greg giving an advice to one of his patrons who is thinking of killing their self because of their abusive mother (got a shock that the Onision video linked in reaction video I watched is incorrect, or sort of incorrect since their wasn't even any mention of suicide, but KSicFlip must be just generalizing the whole style of how Onision advices). KSicFlip is against Greg's words in the video. Later maybe I would post the video of the critic for me to remember everything (I did!).

Personally, the only thing I did want to say was, everyone has selective anything. And to me the person who made the criticism just did selective anything. I remember listening to the video, and I know Greg noted in the middle of the video, at the end of some parts of what he said and at the end of the video itself that the only method is to ask for help that's why he pointed out the hotlines.

That's the only thing I want to point out, and possibly the only thing I saw that Greg wanted to pin. However I do agree with the critics other words, giving advice on holding on ones life and trying to take a hold of it and stuff, when I heard Greg say those things I remember myself when I give advice to some of my friends who have issues about something.

I know I'm just spouting words to give them a smidgen of confidence for them from what they feel. But it doesn't mean we're dismissing the severity of the situation when we say it, and if the situation does need help greater than a boost of life confidence giving them information they need that might help is the next best thing.  I do feel guilty of saying it to them harshly, but I had good intentions to the person. However it wasn't her cup of coffee, it hurts that they perceive it differently but I can't control what anyone would think once I spout the words I intend to help (defensive, eeeeey!).

I guess each one has their own opinion that they know can help, same as with the KSicFlip and the one Greg gave to the person who asked help. But in the end these are just words and options given to the person who needs it.

Personally I'd rather look for it myself, especially if it's gonna be hard to decide when you hear peoples opinion of the situation. Sadly not every single being rolls like each one, so as a small whisper of hope for the good that they get to stand and decide it for themselves whatever the method. Or you can just go end everything. Not much choice if one person begins to think drastically towards the brink of life. (reason why people act involuntary acts of kindness, but thats another story)

Edit: Kinda realized this is a slightly biased rant for the side of Onision more? Oh, well, hypocrite and a fan *shrug*. What can I say.

OnisionSpeaks >> join him

jacksepticeye . appreciation . mundane

These days, after my sickness horror and now my paranoid head trying to recover from "something", I've recently spent my ass watching on youtube tons of videos that would and could entertain me in a sense. As I have said before I am completely new in the realm of youtube and so far I have neither that many of subscriptions to anyone nor any content on my youtube(would never dream of putting anything in it, besides playlists and personal entertainment stuff from other awesome people).

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The first youtuber I spend myself wasting my day and watching videos was from Pewdiepie, as I said before as well. Now I have at least five or tons more added in my list of youtubers and currently on my top of the list is Jacksepticeye.

Theres a reason why I like him now more than Poods, besides being bored now of watching some of Poods old videos that doesn't interest me anymore. Its the reality that Sean, his real name, has unique or taste that are slightly inclined towards the same taste as two of my close friends, and my boyfriend. That attracted me to his videos, till I immersed into most of it that wasn't a constructing or science technical game.

His taste for games and eagerness feels genuine, plus I really liked his style, being all over or loud as EF. There is no comparing in reality, his style is unique that people appreciates the uniqueness. He isn't intentionally rude or abrasive or aggressive towards his fellow game youtuber, and like them is quite eager. Plus he has a segment that catches everyones hearts, the Read Your Comments. Which is very practical interaction with his fans.

Also I think I like him because I'm attracted to his charm, cannot deny that. Because I only like a minimal of the games he's played through. As I said his taste is like the same with my boyfriend and two of my close friends. Something that is a plus to my radar.

At this point, I think I understand why most of their fans now are generally thankful and very clingy to the existence of their videos, towards game youtubers I mean. And it's true, even I am thankful for his efforts in keeping up with something arduous as editing a video and spending time to play a game through to its fullest. That is one effort I miss doing.

Now I can't play any game to the fullest anymore, I don't think my level of patience will allow me to do so since my time to do work would lessen. The reality of being an adult.

Jacksepticeye >> join him

CNN channel . Voices of Africa

I recently encountered the CNN channel in our cable list, I honestly did not know it was there. For the most I like the news on cable channels cause its diverse and at least its not a local one. Plus I rarely get to see news from different walks of the qorld, just in 9gag and honestly I'm surprised I get more events information from that site than our local news channels.

Keeping up with what I learned, it was a wee bit the end of the segment, and it was about the tragedy in Tianjin(sorry if I spelled it incorrectly), and of the survivors or the people who managed to run away from the location of the fire and area of explosion. There is no greater example of scenario pulling compassion and sympathy from the soul of man than tragedies, it pulls out the human in you. Guessing there will be alot of pessimistic opinions and characteristics that may show, it still gets trodden by humanities hope of helping another. May it be through prayers or actions. So far a know little about what had happened, but there're alot of information online. Proof of the devastating explosion, I saw it somewhere in 9gag(again in that god "informative" website). News of the people helping each other, I guess comparig their situation with my country in disasters isnt so different.

Moving on, after the international news came the show where they feature articles about Africa, I don't remember if its Voices of Africa or vice versa. Hell, the point is, the show was interesting. Got to the point where they featured Wayaala, a pop singer in their country, she sings in a specific dialect that I forgot. But she dances and does her stuff awesomely, they don't live too grande but she's an aetistic kind. Heck even the things she designs are awesome, fabulous in some sense, not my style but it fits her native aspect. I think shes sung a song by Rihanna before, but it only says so in a part of the show. Haven't tried to search it online, maybe when I get the chance to.

Included in the show we're two other women of the arts, the other one was also a musician and the other was a poet. Its wrong of me to be surprised that even to their part of the world that side of their culture is flourishing. Not that I'm saying there isn't in the first place, there is, I just didn't expect they would feature them. I find it a hypocritical thing of me to think, but its better that I prove myself wrong.

Seeing them feature their own brand of whats popular and going on makes me curious of whats happening in the modern culture and entertainment industry of Africa. Looking at the way they make music and hit the jive, rhythms and beats, kind of makes me proud that they arent forgetting to put a little of their tradition and culture in their modern art. Although I bet there are some who'd be tired of it, and think like those country bumpkin in the movies about living the city life. I like it more if the modern finds its way to be mixed with the cultural or traditional heart of things.

Makes me wonder if in the Philippines its our culture or tradition to feature jologs type of media related entertainment. The rap industry ain't bad, however it kinda repeats itself to the same tragic story, which makes me miss the old school way of rapping. Opm industry, I don't really know, I like most of the indie scene ones more than the commercialized popular ones. For metal or rock genres, there seems to be a large lacking of that in our modern culture. Ballads are more of the pinoys thing, I noticed.

Conversing about the cultural and modernistic integration of ttaditional things seems pretty wide of a subject. However, its very interesting to know or learn of people and their aims or dreams. Those projects they do to make the people around them aware. I forgot to mention about that second African singer, she was a female, and she was part of this song collaboration with 7 other female singers of their country. Their song promoted the power of females in the industry of music, or in any aspect in life.

Call it feminazi of me, but I liked it. The concept, maybe in their side of the country women still gets oppressed greatly. Although I know all around the globe gender inequality is rampant, especially for the "third" sex. Well its the support and awareness that counts.

Edit (sept.2.2015): this post failed to up last time, but I'm still loading it up.