TedEd . choices . possibilities and dead ends

There are times when you just can't stop yourself but spend time online, for better or worse, and for half a year now of my freelancing life I've spent my entertainment quality watching days of this freelancing life blood soaked in the world of Youtube channels. Luckily, for me, I've got friends with good taste for channels in comparison to my simple self who just bases it's own personal preference of decisions with sometimes shallow reasons, a.k.a. looks and probably day to day articles of life, except for pranks, my current self doesn't really enjoy those prank videos in it's entirety. Maybe in a different part of my life I might, either grow or just suddenly learn how to like prank videos. Any case, I've stumbled upon my better in current relationship half a video from one of it's plurk feed. This better half's video was from TedEd.

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I've yet to discover the origins of TedEd but I do know that the videos in the channel are, true to their slogan, worth sharing into this world of ours. Preferably a general knowledge type of channel. The videos are all animated by different types of groups / animators in accordance to the topic being read at hand. However, I am not here to further promote their well made life lesson sharing videos but focus on one video that got me tugging into a topic I would probably state afterwards.

Hedonism is one word I've completely forgotten what the meaning was, although there is this niggling thought in my head that it had something to do with something selfish.

The video focuses on the idea "what if you we're given the choice to choose only experiencing the ups of life". It further exemplifies and theorizes scenarios basing from the choices in ones life depending on the situation. Examples like the one on the video, which is common in everyday life scenes, it's a sort of probability thought until proven (unless you haven't watched the video, the scenario stated was: a woman is deeply in love with a man, but the man was secretly wooing the woman's sister; is it better for the woman to discover the truth and delve in the pain or dismiss it and indulge in the fantasy that they are the perfect couple).

This got me thinking about my life recently. That pertaining to my choice path of career. I've been freelancing for one year now taking on various graphic design jobs, like being a Shirt Art Designer, Graphic Artist, Caricature Artist, Book Layout Artist, and others related to Illustration and Publishing. However, I've been in a rise and fall slump, having more reasons where I have minimal profit although I have a lot of work. The freedom of choosing and developing my profession as an artist however is part of this life, although it's slow and quite unproductive, sad to say, most of the time.

Recently a relative of mine has begun to make it their mission to help me in finding a work career as it seems that my current one is too pitiful to watch. Even having hear them describe it as I was "the type of person that sleeps all day and needed other people to open up their choices in career to be able to move on from their current slump" (not exactly the words said since they we're spoken in our language, plus the words might be twisted because I don't really know how to translate it nicely in english, lol). Although the end thought is, the current one I have isn't working out well. That in itself my growth is considerably slow to nil. Probably, for their eyes.

After hearing such and watching the video attached, was my choice of work path something akin to a level of hedonism? Stating, I enjoy my current freedom in freelancing and, although slow, happy even to the point of proud that I can have time doing jobs that my skill set can offer for specific clients.

Although this doesn't prove anything hedonistic, speaking. Since for a part I have not mentioned anything that states I have neither experienced nor have any painful things to feel, which in reality isn't true.

This has now become a list of rant and things about the pains I see in my life, the ones I've clearly known but push away in hopes to give me self-esteem, confidence and even the driving force to move into the direction of the path I am currently "courageously" weaving. Presently a clear proof that I lack any qualifications to be hedonistic in nature.

A mighty conclusion for this is something that I should decide for myself. The video isn't something that gave me some providence like way of clearing the clouds, but it sure did add another batch of wild flowers on the half barren pasture I'm positive is a good field to spend time being happy with given enough time and good sources of care and growing.

Jacksfilms . YGS 100 movie . why grammar is important, personally

I've gotten myself acquainted well into Jacksfilms, a youtuber that I encountered during my time watching a marathon of all of Onisions videos that I found interesting.  (so Jack; basically, me getting to your channel is kinda thanks to Greg; LOL)

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His channel is a barrage of sketches borderline comedic satire to just plain sarcasm (did I just separate one term into two terms that are actually the same in essence, well who cares). Stating the reason, due to his popular sketches YIAY (Yesterday I Asked You) and YGS (Your Grammar Sucks), which majority of his viewers appreciate the most. Guessing they have the same mocking humour as the maker himself, not that I'm any different, ho-ho-homies.

During my time as his viewer, I encountered a recurring comment about a movie he's making that would celebrate the 100th episode of YGS. That every episode of YIAY, which was the only active content he seems to be doing, commenters mentions the movie all the time. Of course, not missing a note to follow the rules, or something, in answering his question for the day. It's actually amazing how diversely creative his subscribers are.

Personally I didn't expect much from YGS, cause the content sometimes just gives me excruciating headaches. Meaning that somehow my mind can't run normally because of comprehensive reasons. The grammar or satire replies posted in the videos of YGS.

I don't really like every how horrible the replies featured in each episode, but the quality of how Jack delivered the content was one of the top reasons why the segments became tolerable. That in itself says much about what kind of entertainer and creative person he is.

Watching YGS 100 movie, almost an hour long or more, was the first YGS that I actually watched TILL THE END. This fact, plus how I tried listening to the content, which was A-grade "imho"; is a first. The first time I actually focus in a YGS and it's an hour long, almost, movie. Insert "lol" icon.

The diversity of the youtubers who participated plus all the content juice that must've taken Jack, like, tons of several (redundant) of sweat, blood and tears to edit the whole of it was amazing. Why, I'm singing praises for the video. Yet, my only critic is that he could've just not made the whole movie, and every segment of the movie be something of a daily or twice a day post. Really, just that he compiled the whole thing was my only nitpick. Insert "lol" icon here.

Over all, I would recommend it, only if it's already broken down to the every segment tiny pieces before anyone should watch it. But, it is entertaining. That won't be taken from Jacksfilms content.

...I just realized I didn't say anything about why grammar is important to me, personally (redundant). Well, that can be for the future something, cause YGS 100 itself expressed the very sentiment of why it's important. (even though I'm effin imperfect myself about grammar, at least I'd want a tried your best badge)

Inevitable . Antisocial? . Onision universe

This may sound weird, but people who give advice and has an official title to give so for specific parts of life in general is respected. You gain a sliver of trust due to that established societal method of acceptance, which I pertain is the title acquired from years of studying and practice.

The issue I see here is the distribution of or who you choose to trust.

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Recently I've been smothering myself with Onision videos, specifically his outspoken opinions about topics he is asked in his website or forums under the YT channel Onisionspeaks. I collectively view all his videos in that channel as his point of view alone and to whoever gives a fuck and for his fans or listeners, they're free to listen to it. Listen, regardless of whether his opinion or conclusion to the topic would match the listeners P.O.V. or not.

Again, since I'm kind of immersing myself with stuff about him, I tried going back to some of his videos disregarding all the questionable and dramatic content. Curiosity is one thing that won't be taken from man I tell you.

I discovered one of his life dramas, namely the one about his ex-girlfriend Shiloh. Who I discovered is a singer before she got involved with Onision, lets just call him Greg. (In context with Shiloh, I like her music. I hope she comes back, as I hear she hasn't done any since 2005/9(?). Kudos to her career)

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That sources' article is funny, but intriguing *shrug*.

I do not like or patronize the action of posting too personal stuff online, since I am generally a private person. But, come on, who doesn't like the drama (and it's the person who's posting the private thing is the one at fault for deciding it generally). Any-many, I saw a lot of mental and emotional stuff enough for me to re-watch it just to confirm that what I heard was what I heard. 

Messy and sad comes into my mind. Greg's choice on how to handle his problem, involving the opinion of several people who is allowed to view his videos made me think every single break up he has gone to is just an act. But who am I to be confirmed of this, personally I'm not going to go deeper, but it was sad.

Moving on to that sad thing is the tons of criticism he received with his "advices". I watched one video, from KSicFlip, about Greg giving an advice to one of his patrons who is thinking of killing their self because of their abusive mother (got a shock that the Onision video linked in reaction video I watched is incorrect, or sort of incorrect since their wasn't even any mention of suicide, but KSicFlip must be just generalizing the whole style of how Onision advices). KSicFlip is against Greg's words in the video. Later maybe I would post the video of the critic for me to remember everything (I did!).

Personally, the only thing I did want to say was, everyone has selective anything. And to me the person who made the criticism just did selective anything. I remember listening to the video, and I know Greg noted in the middle of the video, at the end of some parts of what he said and at the end of the video itself that the only method is to ask for help that's why he pointed out the hotlines.

That's the only thing I want to point out, and possibly the only thing I saw that Greg wanted to pin. However I do agree with the critics other words, giving advice on holding on ones life and trying to take a hold of it and stuff, when I heard Greg say those things I remember myself when I give advice to some of my friends who have issues about something.

I know I'm just spouting words to give them a smidgen of confidence for them from what they feel. But it doesn't mean we're dismissing the severity of the situation when we say it, and if the situation does need help greater than a boost of life confidence giving them information they need that might help is the next best thing.  I do feel guilty of saying it to them harshly, but I had good intentions to the person. However it wasn't her cup of coffee, it hurts that they perceive it differently but I can't control what anyone would think once I spout the words I intend to help (defensive, eeeeey!).

I guess each one has their own opinion that they know can help, same as with the KSicFlip and the one Greg gave to the person who asked help. But in the end these are just words and options given to the person who needs it.

Personally I'd rather look for it myself, especially if it's gonna be hard to decide when you hear peoples opinion of the situation. Sadly not every single being rolls like each one, so as a small whisper of hope for the good that they get to stand and decide it for themselves whatever the method. Or you can just go end everything. Not much choice if one person begins to think drastically towards the brink of life. (reason why people act involuntary acts of kindness, but thats another story)

Edit: Kinda realized this is a slightly biased rant for the side of Onision more? Oh, well, hypocrite and a fan *shrug*. What can I say.

OnisionSpeaks >> join him

jacksepticeye . appreciation . mundane

These days, after my sickness horror and now my paranoid head trying to recover from "something", I've recently spent my ass watching on youtube tons of videos that would and could entertain me in a sense. As I have said before I am completely new in the realm of youtube and so far I have neither that many of subscriptions to anyone nor any content on my youtube(would never dream of putting anything in it, besides playlists and personal entertainment stuff from other awesome people).

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The first youtuber I spend myself wasting my day and watching videos was from Pewdiepie, as I said before as well. Now I have at least five or tons more added in my list of youtubers and currently on my top of the list is Jacksepticeye.

Theres a reason why I like him now more than Poods, besides being bored now of watching some of Poods old videos that doesn't interest me anymore. Its the reality that Sean, his real name, has unique or taste that are slightly inclined towards the same taste as two of my close friends, and my boyfriend. That attracted me to his videos, till I immersed into most of it that wasn't a constructing or science technical game.

His taste for games and eagerness feels genuine, plus I really liked his style, being all over or loud as EF. There is no comparing in reality, his style is unique that people appreciates the uniqueness. He isn't intentionally rude or abrasive or aggressive towards his fellow game youtuber, and like them is quite eager. Plus he has a segment that catches everyones hearts, the Read Your Comments. Which is very practical interaction with his fans.

Also I think I like him because I'm attracted to his charm, cannot deny that. Because I only like a minimal of the games he's played through. As I said his taste is like the same with my boyfriend and two of my close friends. Something that is a plus to my radar.

At this point, I think I understand why most of their fans now are generally thankful and very clingy to the existence of their videos, towards game youtubers I mean. And it's true, even I am thankful for his efforts in keeping up with something arduous as editing a video and spending time to play a game through to its fullest. That is one effort I miss doing.

Now I can't play any game to the fullest anymore, I don't think my level of patience will allow me to do so since my time to do work would lessen. The reality of being an adult.

Jacksepticeye >> join him

Kaiba . youtubers . comics 101

Currently I've been busy distracting myself with a lot of things while working on another page of the comics project i'm doing and a lot of other stuff. On that note, besides discovering Pewdiepie's (Bro channel) channel and stuff, I've come to be a fan of Markiplier (Mister sexy voice, sorry thats how I really view his existence, and so does some of my friends that follows his channel) and Jackspeticeyes (DUH BAWS!!!!!!), specifically these two I adore since I've actually subscribed to other youtubers but I like those two the most. Specially mentioning Yamimash (The Brit), yep its because of his accent.

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Besides personally liking how they commentate on their videos, each unique to their own, I felt like before I used to do stuff like this but through my webcomics. Nowadays I'm just a huge fat slacker trying to live off of making comics, which is a poor drag on most peoples eyes. But it doesn't faze me into quitting something like making a comics half way, not again, not ever. Concerning, I've recently re-watched Kaiba, that anime that broke my heart and gave me diabetes because of how awesome the concept of their world is. It's basically a romance sci-fi story about a guy who lost his memory and within those twelve episodes tried solving the mystery of his lost memories.

Truth be told, I'm not liking the fact that I'm not motivated to search for good animes like Kaiba here. Somehow there are TONS of good animes currently being released and continuously gives good chills down everyones spines, especially in the psychological side. However, I'm just not up much to judging series these days, like if I find a good one its got more than 50+ episodes and it still counting. It discourages me to watch it for some reason. I guess I'm getting infected by the impatience of the generation.