Komikon Aftermath . Petshap Inc's out there! . After thoughts

Today is monday, Nov.21st, the day after the two day rush of adrenaline local comics convention (sigh of relief) and to this day I have never felt as well satisfied as the first time I've attended an event to sell my stuff back at my first Ozine indie table.

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This is the first convention that I didn't create and sell a new title of any kind, one-shot or any of the series I have or currently want to create. Instead we, my friend and I, pushed and promoted our semi-business art group Petshap Inc's. Despite my demeanor through out the event for being sick, the first two days of my budding sniffles and coughs that eventually turned full fledge phlegm war, I had the opportunity to work out some sweat and suck up my guts into focusing semi-full in marketing and trying our best being sellers. I didn't get to sell much, as a sales person, according to my opinion and of course comparing it to some of the people who I saw. But seeing our merchandise get attention and well enough recognition says quite a lot. Not to mention the appreciation for our artworks that were on the items we sold.

Yes, the prices we're not that satisfyingly good to even consider getting all the capital we had to give, but the exposure was well worth (although, we honestly sold a lot in the first day and a few for the second). Now just a little bit more push to our aim, and knowledge of what the people actually do want, we can move forward on events and occasions where we will have the opportunity to plan and sell our items and talents again.

This is a laughing matter, considering that I'm almost half way into giving up on fully making an effort again yet here I see our hard worn efforts into making these items becomes something uplifting, even if it was just a little. Truly a rewarding moment for me, and any negative thoughts may come, it still would no dampen that small feeling of letting our efforts be appreciated by any means.

To my comics making, it won't go away, it won't leave my heart. And even if I am able to say that somehow I am more eager to give attention and support to Petshap Inc's, my side as a comics creator felt effectively fueled. After seeing our table mates Pop Shop's comics creators for the title of Tanod and Mang Jose, which sad to say I never got to truly browse and give praise cause I was to shy and other stuff (thanks hesitant last minute self), there was that admiration I had that won't go away still for awesome comics makers out in the field. Indie and unpicked by any specific publishers or well on their way to publish-dom.

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The same goes for Petshap Inc's that is either on it's path to being a design for commission group or design group for items that can be given as gift that are awful fancy and cute, pretty long interpretation of the path but oh-well, there is never going to be a good day for me but if I choose to be happy even for the simplest of these moments, then I thank providence for all these fortunate things however small.

Soon Petshap Inc's will be having it's tiny process of refurbishing aims again, while my new comics title will be done and on it's way to a good hope and future.

Age and time may hinder me, yet the efforts of these two days are truly a blessing even if I was sick and I couldn't successfully make any rounds around.

Also first time experiencing so many, at least around five, people asking for a commission from me, such tiring interactions to humans that I guess I am alright with. Work stress to develop my skills are always welcome.

Pretending to be Inimitable

I used to have a story where the mother of the heroine, heroine named Rui, and her mother was the governess of realms. Like a queen, who used to have a husband but she soon let him go because of political reasons. The man was driven out by her and the council, and soon married a woman who was simple and needed him as well.

I remembered how I always felt that Rui's mother always looked sad but satisfied, knowing that she once loved the man she knew she would always be loyal to but her life and everyone around her prevented them from being together. Sort of like, she became workaholic, and somehow he didn't see it. He believed they could be together, but she knew there we're lesser chances of them being together, and to spare them the pain of it she decided to cut off her ties with him.

Left to her was their daughter, who understood how her mother loved him. The story had them as side characters, but somehow, that's how I wrote her. And that character was almost based to be mine, the mother, the queen.

What a foreboding thing to write about. How selfless but selfish the mother was to the pain, that soon even Rui her child would be solemn but optimistic. Rui was the reason why the met again, not because Rui wanted them to be together again in the flow of the story. The child was intended to save their realm from a certain danger, and it so happened that she needed her father and mothers help to do it.

They helped her of course, but their reunion was only a short time as both of them now has their own lives to live. He to his new family and she to her thrown that she must bravely and strongly govern.

I never knew how painful it felt when I wrote / imagined it, actually, I do. Just that, right now, I feel so sad. Especially for Rui who I sincerely feel her secret want for her parents to be together, but she had learned to accept both their families because she knew she couldn't force them into what she wants.

There's a certain finality with the way I wrote her mothers story. Rui's mother and her father were main characters to a previous story of mine. They we're lead characters in it, the father was the guardian of Rui's mother then, they ended up falling in love with each other. Silently vowing their support to each other like a pendulum of flowing fate.

But circumstances broke them apart, plus the desire for each one to fulfill something they couldn't fill for each other. That in the end, somehow they broke apart. Farther away from the pain.

Rui's mother is a selfish martyr who smiles proudly as she see's the man she once loved happy. While the man, who looked on smiling thinking she was good and well. Not knowing truthfully to each other that somehow they still love each other. Rui knew, but couldn't just ruin the lives they've built.

Definitive and painful. That's how I imagined my characters ending would be. By their subjugation into a circumstance that broke them, I gave a certain goal an opportunity to grow, however tragic, horrific or selfless this goal made them end up to be. Such willies of mine are completely painful. Right now my tears won't stop shedding for them, for those in similar state.

For children who hoped their parents would be together again, yet couldn't. To people who knew the truth of their friends reality, but couldn't help but watch as they unfold a painful disaster happen. All the helpless romantic emotional struggle of the third party who wants to say they shouldn't give up, they must have hope. Don't let that heart weaken. Strive to hold on.

Find a way to hold on. There is still hope. You know there is. Or should you tragically die a heroine or hero, who thinks they're doing the selfless thing when no martyr who died did not think once of regret for their efforts. That even saints surely in their time of death told God of how regretful they may die young, but grateful they will go back to his arms.

Find a way to hold on. And maybe there might be something to save from it. Hoping.

Also, hoping that the thing I wrote got conveyed pretty well even if it was written cryptically.