Unpopular Opinion 2-oh-something

Listening to Ruth B's "Lost Boys".

Depicting a story about someone finding their way to a figure like Peter Pan and all the Lost Boys, plus the world of Neverland. I refuse to categorize the gender of her main character in the composition, if she was the one who composed the song, should've looked it up. Either way, resounding songs of juvenile and explorative lines rings through the song like a lovely string of quartet kids laughing around posies and in share spreading giggly life into the gardens of the lost eden.

Yet, this song sang differently for me, as all listeners of any modern released singles and budding musicians in the industry. The song will obviously be subjective and even have an obviously selective crowd, probably the ones who will be enticed by the tune like me (evidently not underrated due to the obvious 34M+ views and 432k likes by youtube statistics).

Stories are pretty song in poem format, sometimes I don't get it in one go and makes me want to listen to them multiple instances whenever I felt like. Maybe in lonely times or in occasions when I feel like drowning myself with a new found song and just let the gush of emotions run through. Like Lady Gaga's "Million Reasons", but this song didn't just ring me up something romanticized.

Through my minds television, I saw my characters from Tamtam, the story playing forthrightly like it never left me. Scenarios string between broken verses that originally did not fit each other. One scene was something from an arch of the story yet to be written, while one connected to the unwritten in the currently written one, maybe will be the consequence of their actions in the future. Like a prediction to what should, but soon it would fade and another scenario would fill it's gap as the song continues to flow.

Until the end, and when I play repeat again, there it is Tamtam, running in my minds TV like a never ending movie.

I've always loved it when my mind feels fueled by music, as if an auto-MV would suddenly direct itself without any supervision from me but the subconscious imagination I've previously done, either repeating or being revised. This kind of thing happens to me tons of times in my younger days. But when I got into the world of "being too tired to even bother for this shit" (work life, normal employee life), I've begun to loose the energy to write or even draw.

That moment of my life was the saddest I've been, besides my indulging to my jealousy, that's a completely different story right there.

There isn't much of an unpopular opinion here, just, that I've forgotten to mention. That if I'd give a gender to the character in the song, I would stick to the original characters from the book the song and the origin of the term "Lost Boys". Wendy, maybe, or just a random girl trying to find her way into a lonely world. A lonely world she just probably couldn't form into a less lonely one due to the lack of motivation. Quote-and-quote.

Sort of completely indulging it like a romantic song, or a coming of age song for the girl. Where she finds someone like a Peter Pan, dragging her away from the lonesome reality and covered her in the magic Peter always brought with him in his pocket, or Tinker Bell even though she wasn't even mentioned in the song. Rude now that I thought of it. (at least it was mentioned as pixie dust)

Think like that, comparing the girl and finding her self in the story, as if all she needed was companionship all along. But, what if it came the time that she realized she couldn't be with her Peter Pan anymore. Like Wendy.

I may dub this an unpopular opinion, but I guess it's an unpopular opinion only to me, you see. There might be just a time right now, currently in my life, that I've just realized that I have woken up from a sort of Neverland. That soon I feel like Wendy leaving Peter Pan and onto a reality. Just a feeling.

There isn't much, just, the change feels painful. I've begun to slowly loose the patience and ability to easily accept things. Mayhaps it's a great change that it feels difficult compared to the other changes in my life. Still, it feels painful, but good just like the song.  

Pretending to be Inimitable

I used to have a story where the mother of the heroine, heroine named Rui, and her mother was the governess of realms. Like a queen, who used to have a husband but she soon let him go because of political reasons. The man was driven out by her and the council, and soon married a woman who was simple and needed him as well.

I remembered how I always felt that Rui's mother always looked sad but satisfied, knowing that she once loved the man she knew she would always be loyal to but her life and everyone around her prevented them from being together. Sort of like, she became workaholic, and somehow he didn't see it. He believed they could be together, but she knew there we're lesser chances of them being together, and to spare them the pain of it she decided to cut off her ties with him.

Left to her was their daughter, who understood how her mother loved him. The story had them as side characters, but somehow, that's how I wrote her. And that character was almost based to be mine, the mother, the queen.

What a foreboding thing to write about. How selfless but selfish the mother was to the pain, that soon even Rui her child would be solemn but optimistic. Rui was the reason why the met again, not because Rui wanted them to be together again in the flow of the story. The child was intended to save their realm from a certain danger, and it so happened that she needed her father and mothers help to do it.

They helped her of course, but their reunion was only a short time as both of them now has their own lives to live. He to his new family and she to her thrown that she must bravely and strongly govern.

I never knew how painful it felt when I wrote / imagined it, actually, I do. Just that, right now, I feel so sad. Especially for Rui who I sincerely feel her secret want for her parents to be together, but she had learned to accept both their families because she knew she couldn't force them into what she wants.

There's a certain finality with the way I wrote her mothers story. Rui's mother and her father were main characters to a previous story of mine. They we're lead characters in it, the father was the guardian of Rui's mother then, they ended up falling in love with each other. Silently vowing their support to each other like a pendulum of flowing fate.

But circumstances broke them apart, plus the desire for each one to fulfill something they couldn't fill for each other. That in the end, somehow they broke apart. Farther away from the pain.

Rui's mother is a selfish martyr who smiles proudly as she see's the man she once loved happy. While the man, who looked on smiling thinking she was good and well. Not knowing truthfully to each other that somehow they still love each other. Rui knew, but couldn't just ruin the lives they've built.

Definitive and painful. That's how I imagined my characters ending would be. By their subjugation into a circumstance that broke them, I gave a certain goal an opportunity to grow, however tragic, horrific or selfless this goal made them end up to be. Such willies of mine are completely painful. Right now my tears won't stop shedding for them, for those in similar state.

For children who hoped their parents would be together again, yet couldn't. To people who knew the truth of their friends reality, but couldn't help but watch as they unfold a painful disaster happen. All the helpless romantic emotional struggle of the third party who wants to say they shouldn't give up, they must have hope. Don't let that heart weaken. Strive to hold on.

Find a way to hold on. There is still hope. You know there is. Or should you tragically die a heroine or hero, who thinks they're doing the selfless thing when no martyr who died did not think once of regret for their efforts. That even saints surely in their time of death told God of how regretful they may die young, but grateful they will go back to his arms.

Find a way to hold on. And maybe there might be something to save from it. Hoping.

Also, hoping that the thing I wrote got conveyed pretty well even if it was written cryptically.