I couldn't find a place where any of my friends would find this. But I couldn't keep it in due to overwhelmingly sad emotions of helplessness. Mayhaps they find it or not, I don't mind, however I just want to let it out.
Right now, I have driven a nail on someone I shouldn't have. There is true regret in my mind right now. The respect and trust I could've maintained got a wee bit shaken, like a lot, and the wee bit just flew off the rails.
So from this point on I'm in my mind set to let the cat free of my care, personally and whatever the other side feels of. Right now, I trapped two cats inside of me. Nurtured in the way a inexperienced owner would have done. The cats had an instruction manual, but it wasn't exactly as accurate as I thought it would since changes greatly varied.
From the point of their changes the manual kind of failed and I blindly just grasped around for it that it ended quite horribly. Not grotesque cause it would be extreme to say it did. Actions didn't help, and thinking of solutions on your own would just end up trapping the two cats deliberately into a turmoil of confusion.
In the end after trying and failing on majority of the things you think would be a fine solution, you end up with things you wouldn't think over during the course of learning about them.
1. Patience
2. Acceptance
3. Learning
And maybe a little bit more into looking into what your significant cats are and are not.
This is a clear impasse on what I perceive I should be doing, what my life was, what my life is. Just an unlucky current phase where I couldn't find joy in things for my own limits fault. Being free from my own restraints will be the best solution for this, may providence guide me and probably let me see the light in things again. Despite seeing and being in the dark.
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